today on the today show
today on the today show, there was a set of 19-year-old sextuplets. they had dyed blonde hair (except one. that rebel! but she is studying sports therapy, so it’s expected) and dark eyebrows. their mother also had dyed blonde hair. ann, that prober of tough questions, gently touched on finances. ‘how are you going to pay for six kids in college at the same time?’ she asked. as...
this is for all the working people out there– donna summer intro-ing her song
holy guacamole! price cut to $14.79!– someone at Target who just hit the jackpot!
stranger things have happened
strange things have been happening lately. today, i found a piece of broccoli in my bag. broccoli. in my bag. a full piece of green, uncooked broccoli. s t r a n g e . and yesterday, i was staring out the window watching these birds swoop and swirl. they were just swooping and swirling. it looked like some sort of celebration or some sort of death dance. s t r a n g e . and while driving on...
you’ll have to dismount before you enter the bar.– a rather annoyed bouncer
here’s my to-do list today: 1. figure out a good way to make papier mache toadstools 2. dust under my bed 3. change the polaroid line-up on my fridge 4. call my mother 5. make some jean shorts for my trip to austin, tx on another note, jeff tells me recently that fixing your bed every morning promotes germs and bacteria to rapidly increase in your sheets. talk about strange...
you should save this address rachel. i’m tired of sending you the link to...– d. graham kostic
dude looks like a lady, too
well, it seems as though my nephew jackson is going to suffer the same fate as his dear uncle. the fate you ask? the i-think-that-boy-is-a-girl thing. ay yi yi. so get set, jackson, you have years and years of embarrassing moments made possible by strangers (mostly waiters and bank tellers) who lack the ability to determine sex outside of weight, hair length or the tenor of your voice....
no. my friends and i talk about sales. his friends talk about cells.– samantha saifer
a birdie once told me...
i bought asian trail mix at cvs today. as i was walking back to my office, munching here and there, i kept dropping wasabi peas. slippery little fellows! halfway down the block later, i thought, ‘if a little bird eats that wasabi pea, he’s going to be in for quite the jolt.’ because really, wasabi peas are a little zesty. but then i thought that hopefully a Great Egret bird would...
well, it has to be something fancy– my nephew jackson after i asked him what i should get my mom for mother’s day
fashion emergency!! fashion emergency!! cousin cheryl dishes the dirt on a little runt in the family. is her bark as fierce as her bite? i think so!
tonight at dinner, my mom, my uncle and their cousin cheryl were talking about ‘the good ole days.’ i don’t know what it is, but they really were exactly as they say: the good ole days. my mom said she was extremely afraid of the junk man. he would come to the alleys of their little town and yell in a deep, dark voice: juuuuuunk. she said she would hide and my grandma would...
close your legs. that is not how you sit on the cta.– a mother to a very inappropriate child. on the cta.
i just don’t see the tastemakers going to six flags– ben stahl
now this is funny.